How do you know if your romantic relationship is mentally draining you?

Do you feel like you are putting too much of your time and energy into a relationship that simply does not feel right at all? If your answer is yes, you might possibly be in an emotionally exhausting relationship and you should figure out why this is the case. Being emotionally drained can have a significant adverse impact on your emotional well-being and life in general. It can make you feel stressed whenever you think of your partner or when you spend time together and that isn’t something you are supposed to go through with the person you love.


Here are a few ways you can find out if you are stuck in an emotionally draining relationship and how to avoid getting emotionally drained once you get in a relationship.


  1. You feel tired all the time


While it seems that our bodies and minds are separated, our physical and mental beings are actually very much connected to each other. Therefore, an emotionally draining relationship would not only leave a mark on your mind, but also a physical impact on your body. Your relationship should you make you feel more energized and prepared to take on the day’s challenges. If you’ve become so bogged down with negative feelings that you’re experiencing physical symptoms, it’s time to reconsider your relationship (Weiler, 2017). Are you the one giving too much or is your partner really taking that much out of you? Access you and your partner’s needs so you can regain some energy to take control of your life.


  1. You start craving alone time


Although spending time apart is often necessary for a healthy relationship, having a frequent need and desire to be away from your partner can indicate that you’re trying to escape from them (Swain-Wilson, 2020). When you are using a lot of mental energy on your significant other, you will start feeling thrilled to have a weekend away from them, or any time at all. Make no mistake, everyone needs alone-time and it is a very healthy practice (Sandhu, 2020). However, if you feel like celebrating instead of missing them when you get alone time, then it’s not a good sign. If you are in a bad relationship, not having to focus on anyone and being able to focus on your own self is something you finally learn how to appreciate (Arnold, 2019).

  1. You seem to always be in a bad mood when you are with them


If you have been in an emotionally draining relationship for a while, you will realise mood switches and constant bad mood when you are around your significant other. Do not fault yourself for being in a bad mood – it could just be your reaction towards their unreasonable or excessive behaviour (Arnold, 2019). Think about the situation objectively and do not be quick to accuse yourself of being in a bad mood. It is only normal to feel this way around someone who makes you feel terrible constantly.


  1. You have been thinking about breaking up


Being in a bad relationship that prevents you from improving in life will surely make you think about breaking up often. This is common thought people get upon realizing their partner is not the right one for them. If your partner and you fight and argue often, you are jealous and dislike spending time one with another, having a conversation about with your partner and deciding the next steps is the wisest choice.


Overall, some of the biggest indicators that your relationship is adversely affecting your emotional health is when it starts to affect your work, friendships, family, health, finances, spirituality, or downtime (Swain-Wilson, 2020). For example, you might find yourself always having an excuse to not go out with friends, your friends stop inviting you out because you always seem unavailable, family talk about how you never see them anymore, or your boss calls you into the office to talk about your work performance.


Most people are capable of keeping their relationships separate from other parts of their lives. However, when you’re with someone who needs constant attention and reassurance, it can distract you from being the best version of yourself as an individual. Everything in your life might have stalled or is suffering.


If the signs in this blog is familiar to you, then it is time to restore yourself to an optimal level of emotional functioning. You can do this by having a serious discussion with your partner and establishing stricter boundaries or ending the relationship if things seem to be going nowhere.


Autors: Camellia Wong, MA., Karin Ng


Read More:

How Do We Comfort Someone?

How to elicit emotional comfort from your partner?

How does unhelpful thoughts affect our emotions





Arnold, A (2019). Signs Your Relationship Is Emotionally Draining. Retrieved February 11, 2021, from


Sandhu, B (2020). 5 Signs You’re in an Emotionally Draining Relationship. Retrieved February 11, 2021, from


Swain-Wilson, S. (2020). 7 signs that your relationship is emotionally draining you. Retrieved February 11, 2021, from


Weiler, L. (2017). 10 Signs You’re Trapped in an Energy-Draining Relationship. Retrieved February 11, 2021, from



Leave a Reply